On Friday I will turn 31.
As you age, like it or not, you gain wisdom and perspective. My goals in design have tempered as the years have advanced. Where I once wanted to simply be the best designer, I am now considering a focus on becoming the most athletic designer.
Now this wasn’t always my goal. Once when I was a younger designer. I was full of ambition and might. I was unspoiled.
It was during that time, before the reality crept in, before all the clients and agencies and enemies and layoffs wore me down, that I was at my peak. I remember how my school just wound me up with ambition and let me loose with a portfolio and a dream. And then I’d loiter in city book haunts, paging through all the best work and imagining my name next to all those award winning pieces. And as my career progressed, I had a few pieces stare back at me from a book or a magazine.
And it made me feel good.
But somehow it is not enough. How can it be?
Now I confess I am something of a contrarian. Something deep within me has always made me hang back while others race onto the light. I half wonder if someone yelled “fire” in a theater whether I just stay in my seat, cooly waiting for the mob to rush out. Nonetheless, I always try to look before I leap. And the older I get, the longer I look.
There are plenty of designers who talk of the awards shows as silly. But they will enter them. Self promotion is the nature of our business. And as Creatives, we seek some assurance that what we created was good. The voice from within is never enough. We will be hanging things on the family refrigerator forever. It is in our blood.
Perhaps we can all consider different goals though, new ways to fulfill our inner expectations. If we are unable to truly be elite in the awards shows, then maybe another arena?
I have thought about striving to be a great designer athlete.
Now I was only an average athlete in my younger days. I had some varsity sports experience, but nothing extraordinary. But I have kept in pretty good shape, I have very good speed, many muscles, and a fierce competitive instinct. What I need though, is a proving ground. I need to organize games to test my brawn against other designers. How else will I quench my drive to be my best?
Well, there we go again.
Competitions, competitions.
It seems if we weren’t entering one thing, we’d be seeking out another way to make ourselves believe we are a success. Maybe it is the nature of being an American. Maybe it is the nature of being human, and admitting your insecurities.
Are you a success because you think you are success? Or are you success because others say you are success? I am not sure. But surely it is innate to seek some validation of dominance, whether you are a animal in the wild marking a tree, or an art director paying $150 to Print for a shot at making the Annual. Maybe we can’t avoid the impulse. Besides, what are we without clippings we can send our parents?
Whether you win or loose, remember that every morning there is a mirror. When you look into it, what stares back is far more powerful than any award.
Jimm asks:
From 1984, Jean Baudrillard responds:
To everyone who has entered into a design competition and been selected … to everyone who has successfully pitched a new client … to everyone who's gotten press …
You did it!
On Dec.07.2005 at 01:44 AM