So, um … have you ever used your design skills for evil, instead of good?
Or, well, maybe not evil, exactly, but just not really … shall we say, on the up and up.
For example, forgery.
You see, I have. And I have to say that it is one of the most satisfying design tasks I have ever undertaken. I’ve done it a few times, actually.
I used to live in a neighbourhood where parking was brutally restrictive, and essentially impossible without a neighbourhood parking sticker. Now you could just scan one I suppose, but it’s much more empowering to analyze and measure the type (though not much analysis required, it’s always Helvetica), and lovingly recreate the document. Our stickers one year were blue hexagons, and another were white triangles. Oh the joy of achieving proportional perfection, color match and … the finishing touch: just the right degradation and misalignment on the identification number. I then trimmed and mounted them to clear acetate so that when pressed against the inside of a window, they looked like they were peel-n-stuck on. Parking passes for all my friends!
More recently I made, for an unnamed person in an unnamed location, a sticker certifying inspection of their propane-powered vehicle (said person having my confidence that their vehicle is, in fact, well-maintained). For this illegal act, I worked from a digital photo and some measurements taken out in a field with a crude ruler.
I also took a close look at the original sticker and interestingly, the thing looked like it had, itself, been scanned from some 3rd-generation photocopy.
My forgery was a masterpiece of deception. It had little tear-off year-dates at the top, which i perforated by hand (exacto, to be extact), the completely degenerate government logo, the ubiquitously jumpy ID numbers, and best of all, I made two versions: a clean one, and another one that I scanned twice, making it identical to the original in its pathetic lack of resolution.
Said recipient, who may or may not be a family member, was more impressed with my execution of this little sticker than any other piece of design work I have ever shown them. It was a “Wow, you’re really good!” kinda moment. The kind where you buff your fingers on your shirt, blow on them and say, “Yeah, well …”
Skill, baby.
(I think I will not tell you about the friend, the wife, the escort agency and the VISA bill, except to say that it was not so successful, and a divorce followed …)
The pleasure in these small acts of subversion are 1) subversion and 2) copying to the last detail. Getting it right. There is no subjectivity; no like or dislike. It’s either right, or it’s wrong, and it just feels good to get it right.
Now, as a responsible designer and citizen, I am compelled to remind you (especially all those of you with such young, fresh ears and eyes), that the tales I have just imparted are illegal acts, possibly punishable by years on some miserable chain gang or who-knows what or where … and neither I, nor this website, condone illegal activity under any circumstances … oh no. On the contrary, I strongly encourage you to use your design skills only for good, and not to step upon the slippery slope of which I am already slidden half-way down.
Now if you will excuse me, I must return to my samples of irridescent foils.
I haven't...at least since college (also parking stickers). But I want to. I want a box of passports like Jason Bourne. Just in case.
On Jan.17.2005 at 11:27 PM